Do you remember your high school graduation?

If you are anything like me the answer is, “Yes.”  At the time it did not seem like that big of a deal.  It was what I expected to do, and not doing so was never a thought.

The picture above, depicts what Paul Harvey would call “The rest of the story.”

Laying next to the mortar board, tassel, and diploma, you see a key.  This is what the diploma gives you.  It gives you a key to be used in whatever manner you deem appropriate.  For an 18 year old kid… what a scary thought.  High school attendance was mandatory, at least until a certain age.  Teachers, administrators, and staff cared if you went to class and if you didn’t there were repercussions.  Your parents could even be held liable for you not attending school.

When your title changes to “college student” all bets are off.  The key has been handed to you.  Only you can chart the course from this point forward.  You did not have to chose what your high school diploma would say on it.  You did not have to declare a major, which would limit your future employment choices… until now.

What are you going to do with the key?  Are you going to dream big, or simply live as if the key means nothing to you?  Are you going to spend time maximizing your time or wasting it?

Leave a comment below – For those of you who have completed college, what was the best advice you received or would offer to this years graduates?

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Of course you cannot put on the roof prior to many steps being completed first.  The ground must be leveled and cinder blocks laid before any wood is applied to the home.

This is not just an article about business, mission statements, or goals.

Reason #1 – Clarity – Do you often feel like you have way to much going on?  What about the feeling that you have all of these segments of life with the only seemingly related component to them all is YOU?  Because we all have different segments of life, we need different visions to get us where we want to go.  I learned of the importance of this from best selling author, Andy Stanley (@andystanley), in his book entitled Visioneering.  I would highly recommend it.  I also wrote about Clarity last week in The Jackson Sun, which can be found here.

Reason #2 – Simplicity – If your life is anything like mine, you need to have something which keeps you focused in the direction you would like to go.  It makes it very easy to assess if you should participate in something new or pass.  This enables you to prioritize your time.  Are these activities moving you toward your vision or away from it?  Have you ever noticed the more you are involved in, the more people ask you to do?  I am working to try to find some level of participation in all areas of my life, and before a clear vision was applied, I found myself feeling convicted to say “Yes” to everything.

Reason #3 – Leadership – Vision enables you to lead.  Have you ever tried to follow someone without a solid vision?  The outcome is very unknown, but it is more than that.  When a leader does not have a clear vision for the future, they get distracted by everything.  These teams will not have any picture of the future to which they can buy-in.  Have you ever felt like the entire team were all moving in their individual directions?

Please comment below – What’s your personal vision?  Where do you see yourself 10 years from now?

What kind of relationships do you have?  Do you clearly know where you are going, why you’re going there, and what you hope to accomplish?

Read my article in today’s edition of The Jackson Sun to learn more about relationships and clarity here.

I wrote about trust through the eyes of a child last year.  Read it here.

At the beginning of any leadership training experience, trust is something which is the focus of many activities.  This is also something built into all branches of military training, and you don’t have to think much about why.  If you were in battle, the last thing you would need in the back of your mind is, “Does he/she have my back?”  In marriage, the relationship between a husband and wife is held together only because of trust.

During the Chick-Fil-A Leadercast this past Friday, Coach Mike Krzyzewski talked about the amazing opportunity he had to lead the USA Olympic basketball team.  Many discounted his ability to make the transition from coaching college players to leading a team made up of the best athletes from the NBA, including Kobe Bryant (@kobebryant), Dwayne Wade (@dwaynewade), and Lebron James (@kingjames).  We all know the outcome, based on the USA Olympic team wearing gold medals around their neck while the Star Spangled Banner played.  But how did they do it?

The single most important standard, which was set by the players not Coach K, was trust.  Notice I said the word standard.  Coach K did not set any rules on the players, while they did have standards.  He said rules are “externally” applied, and standards are “internally” owned.

Have you ever heard it said, “Two are always better than one?”  On the surface this is easy to agree with, but when you slow down and dig a little deeper, you realize this may not necessarily be true.

Another takeaway from last Friday, was a math equation that addresses the very topic of “two are better than one.”

If trust is PRESENT             =     2 > 1

If trust is NOT PRESENT     =     2 < 1

Trust is critical and is the foundation for anything which succeeds and is built to last.

QUESTION:  Where has trust impacted your life?  Was it easy?

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As I wrote in today’s Jackson Sun article, titled What’s Feat Got to do with It?, which you can read here, our son was trying to see how fast he could run into the ocean… until fear entered the equation.  This was during our vacation last week to Watercolor Resort at Santa Rosa Beach, Florida.

Fear is something which paralyzes each and everyone of us in one way or another.  Maybe we are afraid of the dark, heights, failure, death, or thousands of other things which debilitate us.  Have you ever seen a squirrel that ran out into the road right in front of your car?  What typically happens?  Exactly right; they freeze and seem to often make a decision about which way to go a little too late.

What I learned by watching my son was quite surprising and a great learning experience for me.  Our children are looking at us… all the time.  They typically like what we like and vice-versa.  When it comes to fear, they do not know what to be afraid of unless they since what you are afraid of or from personal experience.

As a leader, whether a parent in the home or within your company, people are looking to you.  The following three tips will reduce the fear for those watching you, and remove the paralysis associated with it.

Three Tips for Reducing Fear

1.  Lead from the front (previously written about here) - When my son became scared from his first experience in the ocean waves, he didn’t want anything to do with the water again.  He spent most of his time playing in the sand (see above photo).  The last day, I made sure to put myself between him and the deep blue sea, which made him feel safe.  I was in the water first, signifying it was safe and I was there if needed.

2.  Speak in a positive manner – Once he was noticeably afraid of the ocean, we knew we had some work to do.  The conversation began to shift to how much fun it is to go to the beach.  I told stories of playing in the ocean as a child.  During difficult financial times within the home or with the corporate balance sheet, leaders must communicate the facts without allowing the worst case scenario from seeming reality.

3.  Be honest and upfront – Our little boy’s fear was real, and it would have been very easy to make light of it or even poke fun at his fear.  This would have been very damaging to him and could have caused his fear to become something which would have been with him for quite some time.  In our lives, fears should be address openly and honestly.  Facts and information help to suppress fear and must be done.  If employees sense something may be going on, it is better to talk with them about, while giving them the facts.

REMINDER – Live chat TONIGHT @ 8pm.  Connect with us here.

Please comment – How have you overcome personal fears?  What have you done when others are afraid?

Our family has done many things in the last five years, but going somewhere for the purpose of vacation has not been one of them.  We have been to multiple states through relocation, but this was the first time our purpose was to relax and have fun.

So what makes for a good vacation?  The first thing that ensures a good vacation is the decision to go.  In our society, work has received much focus and is critical to have the resources to go to the beach.  This focus on the importance of work keeps us from taking the necessary time off to recharge our batteries.

Let me make a few recommendations for your next trip to Florida.

Housing

We rented a home through 360 Blue Properties, which is a rental management company who did an amazing job.  Even helping us finish making smoothies, after loading all the fruit into the blender only to discover the blender was broken.  After a quick phone call, a new blender was deliver to our house.  Additionally, we were staying next to a home which was under construction, with the sounds of air guns and hammers starting early in the day.  They extended a 15% discount to us due to this not being communicated prior to our arrival.

Our rental house was located within the beach community of Watercolor.  The amenities were amazing, including multiple pools, a great beach side restaurant, amazing service provided by those around the beach, and a grocery store within 3 minutes.

Food

Our first night out to eat carried us to George’s at Alys Beach.  Unfortunately, they are closed on Sunday which forced us to find another option.  We continued to look down Highway 30A and ended up at Rosemary Beach.  Tucked away in the the downtown area was Edward’s.  The food was amazing and service were amazing and they were very welcoming to children.  They had an area of open-air dining and some indoor space as well.

My wife and I had a date night, which we chose to try Fish Out of Water within the Watercolor Resort.  It was amazing and we would highly recommend it.

I would be remiss if I did not mention where we ate our last night.  No trip to the region is complete without a trip to the famous Red Bar.  As with every other time we have been, it was packed.  The food was absolutely amazing, whether it was the grouper, maui maui, or chicken, everyone left miserably fulfilled.

Please comment – What did we miss?  What recommendation needs to be added to the list?

Pope Francis made a bold decision to wash the feet of those whom broke with church tradition.  He stepped out and did something no Pope had ever done before.

Do you remember the last time you did something for the first time?

I remember Dr. Bob Long, senior pastor of St. Luke’s United Methodist Church in Oklahoma City, telling a story of the annual trip he and his family take to Colorado.  He reminisced about the place they normally stay, the places they normally eat, and all of the other things they “normally” do.  He knew so many who always ate at “XYZ Restaurant” followed by the normal location for morning coffee as they prepared to ski the same slope they had skied for years.  At some point in this journey he decided there might be so much more awaiting on the other side of the valley.

I don’t know about you, but this really hit home with me.  We are such creatures of habit, we have probably eaten at the same restaurants, driven to work the same way, or gone to the same locations for vacation each year.

Pope Francis could have found those closest to him, and while maintaining tradition, washed their feet.  If he had done this, what would have been missed?

1.  Blessing of the least of these - If he had followed tradition, the lives of those whom he chose to wash their feet would have not been touched.  When we get out of our comfort zones to bless others our lives move from a place of success to a place of significance, and the lives of those we bless are never the same.  This does not always have to be something which comes with loud trumpets, but rather lends itself to everyday moments of appreciating those who are not expecting it.

2.  Blessing of ourselves – By expanding the possibilities which lie before each of us, we are more atune to what is happening around us.  When you put yourselves in places you’ve never been before, you realize all the things which probably went unnoticed in our typical environment.  I am reminded of driving the same route to work everyday, and when someone is in the car with me and they notice something I’ve never seen before.  We get complacent and do not pay attention when we are going through the motions.

3.  Personal growth – Have you ever wondered why it is easier to blow up a balloon after you stretch it out?  The same is true when you experience new things.  You have been stretched, making it easier for you to get wind in your sails.

Please comment below – Where did you step out?  When was the last time you did something for the first time?

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How do most people define success?  Typically it involves some predetermined amount of zeros found in ones bank account.  Or maybe it includes a specific title.  Others would suggest it includes an amazing marriage followed by raising wonderful children.  If you are like me, your definition of success is always changing and evolving based on your point in life.

I remember the first time I asked someone to buy a set of knives for over $700… and they said, “Yes.”  I’m glad they didn’t change their mind after seeing the surprised look on my face.  That was a success!

Another story I am often reminded of includes a prospect I had pursued for almost two years, simply trying to secure an appointment.  I will never forget when I got the person on the phone and we booked an appointment.  That was a success!

I asked my wife to marry me, and she said “Yes.”  That was a success!

Often we sit a reflect on the question, “Am I successful?”, or “Am I a success?”

Without some type of foundational metric, one would have to answer… “It depends.”  It depends on where we are in a specific stage in life.  Is there one question we could ask ourselves, or others, which would gauge how we are doing?

What about this one?

SUCCESS is when the people who know you the BEST, respect you the MOST!  What an amazing standard and measuring stick to apply.  How does your inner circle feel about you?  What do those people who know the real you say about you?  This one statement has changed the way I will view success for the rest of my life.

Spend a little time thinking through this over the coming days.  Any changes need to be made?

When was the last time you stood on the bank of a river?  What about a lake?

Some of my favorite childhood memories involve water.  In the area of the country where I spent my childhood summers, you would hear people refer to the body of water as the Tennessee River and Kentucky Lake.  Both were technically true because of the dams built along the Tennessee River by the Tennessee Valley Authority.  I remember getting in the boat on early mornings and starting the old 55 horsepower Evinrude motor, and eagerly anticipating getting to our first fishing hole.

As I have grown older, I seem to think back on those times with wonder.  All the memories and lessons learned continue to flood back to my memory.

Recently, I was listening to a podcast with John Maxwell (@johncmaxwell) in which he said, “Be a river, not a reservoir.”  Let that sink in for a moment…

“Be a river, not a reservoir.”  If those were the only words John said, it would have been enough, but he didn’t stop there.

He added a few more words to the phrase… at the beginning.  “I WANT TO be a river, not a reservoir.”  This changes from a directive to a self directive.  What does this mean?  If you desire to add value to people, you approach interactions with everyone around you differently.  This feeling is rooted in the belief that you were blessed by what others have poured into your life and now it is your turn to pay it forward.

2 Main Takeaways

1.  River water is never stagnant – Whether you are sitting in one spot or moving, the water is always moving.  If you are wading in a stream while fishing for giant brown trout, the water is rushing through your legs.  To be a river is to appreciate the blessings you have received as well as looking for opportunities to pass them on to others.

2.  Downstream reflects what happens upstream – Have you ever seen a river after a large rain?  It is often muddy due to the runoff.  What if people are illegally dumping upstream?  Of course, the downstream water will have trash floating in it.  To want to be a river, one must believe they can have a positive impact on the water around them, thus guaranteeing better water below them.

What can you do to be a better river?  What have others done to support you downstream?

Releasing today!  Jon Acuff’s new book START.

The bestselling author Jon Acuff has done it again.  After penning the great resource titled Quitter, he is back to fill in the blanks about where to find your direction and the motivation to actually pull it off.

Many great ideas are squelched by those who are afraid of the unknown.  Fear is something which has paralyzed people for generations.  Jon teaches how to identify what lies before you and how to properly manage it, while insulating yourself from those who are sure to try to discourage you.

Jon Acuff has been a great addition to the Dave Ramsey brand and continues to add amazing value to the message of personal responsibility.

Take the first step toward redefining your future.  You can purchase the book here.

What is your largest fear in doing something new?